Networking Mastery for Effective Self-Advocacy: A Council Guide
Have you dispatched the email yet? That's a question I often bring up during coaching sessions. My client, who's talented and accomplished, usually wriggles uncomfortably. They might say they've been meaning to, or express hesitance about coming off as too forward. Sometimes, they'll sigh, admitting it feels odd.
And there it is - the same hesitation I see time and again. People frequently put off reaching out to someone they admire, reconnecting with an old colleague, or concluding a conversation with a clear request. They fear they'll seem pushy or self-centered.
So, what do I tell them? "Your work won't speak for itself. You've got to speak for it." Networking self-advocacy isn't about bragging or asking for favors. It's about showing up as yourself, sharing your value, and creating chances for connection.
I explain it like this: "Networking isn't a transaction. It's a conversation. Imagine approaching it with curiosity and generosity instead of apprehension?"
Changes in thought shift networking from a take-oriented pursuit to an inviting experience.
Reimagine Networking
Networking leaves many uncomfortable because we misunderstand what it really is. Too often, we view it as asking for something - a job, a favor, a referral. But the truth is, most people want to lend a helping hand when approached thoughtfully. They enjoy sharing advice, insights, or connections. In fact, many consider it an honor.
One of my clients, a mid-level designer aiming to shift into a strategy role, used to initiate conversations with, "I'm just exploring options." She believed it sounded polite, but in reality, it was vague. People didn't know what to do to help her.
We reworked her approach. Now, she concludes calls with:
"I am transitioning into product strategy roles. Based on our discussion, what would you recommend I focus on to set myself up for success?"
This minor adjustment – specific and clear – turned her conversations. She left them with advice, directions, and introductions that propelled her forward.
The Art Of Self-Advocacy In Networking
Self-advocacy in networking isn't about boasting or pushing an agenda. It's about creating a connection and alignment between your story and the other person's experience. Here are six strategies to help you show up with purposiveness:
1. Rephrase Your View On Networking
Ask yourself: What narratives am I spinning about networking? Do I see it as insincere or self-serving?
Most people value sharing advice, offering insights, or making connections. Networking isn't about taking. It's about exchanging knowledge, support, and connection.
2. Clarify Your Goals
Don't leave people guessing. If you're reaching out to request advice, explore a career, or learn about a company, make it clear.
A client once wrote this message to an ex-colleague:
"I've been intrigued by roles in corporate strategy, and I'd love to hear your viewpoint. What competencies do you think are vital for success in that field?"
The response was prompt, and the conversation led to introductions that opened new doors.
3. Conclude Each Conversation With A Following Step
Networking calls often finish with polite goodbyes without a clear path ahead. Instead, end with something actionable:
"This has been really insightful. Is there anyone else I should talk to about this?"
This question feels natural and collaborative. It provides the other person with a specific way to help you progress.
4. Offer Something Before Requesting Anything
Networking works best when it feels like a mutual exchange. Share an article, send a book recommendation, or send a thoughtful note after your meeting. Small gestures demonstrate that you value the relationship.
One of my clients sent a thoughtful article to her mentor after their first meeting. Months later, that mentor reached out to invite her to collaborate on a project. The relationship deepened because it felt genuine and reciprocal.
5. Maintain Track Of Your Connections
Most people underestimate their network. Begin a simple spreadsheet with names, notes about past conversations, and personal details (such as significant moves or upcoming projects).
6. Make Networking A Habit
Networking doesn't develop instantaneously. It's something you cultivate over time. Reach out regularly to check-in or express gratitude. A simple note like this strengthens connections:
"I wanted to let you know I recently secured a new role. Your advice during our conversation was invaluable, and I truly appreciate your time."
A follow-up months later, even a quick "How did that project go?", shows that you were paying attention. These interactions build trust and sustain relationships.
The Power Of Showing Up
Networking isn't about begging for handouts or making yourself appear smaller to be polite. It's about showing up as yourself and stating, "This is who I am. This is where I'm headed. I'd appreciate your perspective.”
The next time you hesitate to send an email or ask for advice, pause and reconsider the situation. Maybe the person on the other side of the conversation wants to assist? Maybe the only thing holding you back is the narrative you've built around what networking is?
When you self-advocate with clarity and generosity, conversations change. Relationships intensify. Opportunities surface. And engaging in this no longer feels awkward; it feels natural, because it is.
So, who will you reach out to first?
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Samantha Alvita, one of my clients, initially struggled with networking due to vague and unclear communication. She used to begin conversations with, "I'm just exploring options." We adjusted her approach, and she now concludes calls by saying, "I am transitioning into product strategy roles. Based on our discussion, what would you recommend I focus on to set myself up for success?"
In the same vein, Alvita could also say, "As I pursue my shift into product strategy roles, I am eager to connect with professionals who have successfully made similar transitions. Can you recommend anyone I should reach out to for advice or insight?"
