The Utterance That Instantly Tarnishes Your Leadership Honesty and Sincerity
Do you possess the qualities to lead? Or should we follow your lead? These straightforward queries—and all their potential replies—reveal one of two things: (1) a solid foundation of leadership credibility or (2) its absence. It boils down to faith and trustworthiness. At its core, leadership is all about integrity.
Whenever individuals choose to follow your lead, seek assistance, seek guidance, be inspired by you, or simply tag along, it's crucial to recognize that they would first do so based on their trust in you. They'd consent to do so due to your leadership integrity, without which you'd undoubtedly falter as a leader.
The phrase 'to be frank with you' undermines leadership integrity.
There are few phrases that can instantly generate doubt like the phrase “to be frank with you.” Others similarly damaging include:
- In all honesty...
- Frankly...
- To put it frankly...
- The truth of the matter is...
When you casually use a phrase like “to be frank with you,” with the intention of enhancing your credibility, the exact opposite occurs. Instead of earning their trust, listeners begin to question your honesty. Instead of heeding your point, they become distracted, pondering whether you just got honest or if everything you said prior to this phrase is, in fact, true.
The phrase causes doubts about your leadership credibility.
Instead of triggering green signals, the phrase “to be frank with you” raises red flags about your leadership credibility in the minds of your listeners, the individuals you are communicating with.
Consider this. When you are communicating and have an attentive audience following along, what happens when they suddenly hear you say “to be frank with you” or “to tell you the truth?” What transpires in your own mind when you hear someone else use one or more of these phrases?
As I mention in this article about ineffective leaders, everything that has been said before you use the phrase is now questionable. Everything gets more scrutiny than it did before you uttered the phrase at all. It's only natural for listeners to wonder whether you were truthful before or if you're merely being truthful now after stating “to be frank with you.”
The phrase (in all its forms) is useless at best and harmful at worst. Not only does it create unnecessary distractions, it undermines your leadership credibility and weakens you in the eyes of those you lead. I suggest you eliminate it—and every version of it—immediately from all of your communications moving forward.
Speak with confidence and increase trust without compromising leadership credibility.
Without leadership credibility, you'd have a heavy task ahead, attempting to persuade others to believe in you, listen to you, rely on you, and give you the benefit of the doubt that leaders so desperately need during uncertain, ambiguous, or crisis-ridden times.
This is why you want to avoid damaging your leadership credibility or causing others to question your reliability by voicing thoughtless words or phrases that could stir doubt.
You can speak with confidence and authority without hedging your bets on honesty. You can also garner more respect by explicitly stating what you need or want to say, allowing everyone listening to presume that you are indeed telling them the truth. You don't need to preface what you say with statements that ultimately cast doubt on the truth of what you say. Instead, try this:
Establish a connection.
Whether you are speaking to one person or a crowd, ensure you connect. Human beings thrive on—and respond positively to—genuine connection. Instead of using distracting phrases that undermine your leadership credibility, do this. Share common experiences, express empathy, ask insightful questions, and allow your audience to ask follow-up questions.
Be vulnerable to the extent possible and demonstrate that you are learning and growing alongside everyone else. Communicate a message of camaraderie, indicating that you will navigate through challenges together.
Admit mistakes.
Instead of saying “mistakes were made,” which reveals a lack of leadership credibility and sends the message that someone, somewhere made a mistake but you are not responsible, admit fault. Accept responsibility for the mistake and demonstrate that you are accountable for the resolution as well.
Describe the mistake, explain who was negatively impacted, and be extremely specific about what you and/or your team will do to rectify the situation. If you don't know what occurred or who is responsible, share that you are investigating. The key takeaway is to let those you lead know that making things right is important to you and that you understand and empathize with any harm caused.
When you communicate authentically and with purpose, you don't need to tell people you are telling them the truth. You don't need to validate the truth of the situation. When you display leadership credibility and connect with your audience, they perceive it. They feel it. They feel connected to you and believe in you.
Additional Reading:
This Is How To Effectively Make Decisions: A Leadership Necessity
Nail The Interview: Respond Confidently to ‘Why Should We Hire You’
This Is The Real Reason Your Strategic Plans Persistently Fail
1.练习领导质量时，避免使用抹君子名色的表达方式，比如说 "to be frank with you"。这样会栽种疑惑，摧毁你的领导可信度和信任度。2.显示寻求真正的领导能力的人可以离开 "to be frank with you" 一类的动辄表达。通过直言不讳、自信地说出一切，可以增强信任，而不会损害领导可信度。
